The First Step in Bringing About Positive Change

To bring positive change, you must take an honest look at your child’s behavior and your family situation. You may or may not know the underlying issue for your child’s behavior. Your child might have a diagnosed disorder (such as bipolar disorder) — or not. That’s not the point.

The point is to look at the situation straight in the eye and be honest with what’s really going on with your teen and in your home. No excuses, no minimizing, no rationalizing, no placing the blame on others, no ignoring and hoping that somehow everything will get better. Because if you avoid being honest, things won’t get better. They’ll get worse. You need to face reality as it is – not as it was or as you wish it to be. Then, you can begin moving forward, constructing a workable, realistic plan to help your teen and heal your family.

What You Can Do

Admitting the reality is not the same as accepting it. When you admit what’s going on, you realize it intellectually. When you accept the situation in your heart, then you become empowered to help your teen and heal your family. Here are some things you can do to help face, admit, and accept the reality of your teen’s behavior and your family’s situation:

• Learn all you can about your teen’s behaviors — lying, drinking, drug use, self-injury, eating disorders, etc.

• Listen to the people who know your teen — family, friends, teachers, coaches. Let them give you their perspective. Hear their concerns and consider them.

• Listen to your teen without interruption and without condemnation so you can understand the feelings behind the words.

• Reach out and get support — from friends, family, a coach and/or counselor, health professionals, support groups.. You are not alone and you cannot do this alone. Commit to ongoing support and guidance.